I cannot believe that week 12 of 12wbt is about to start tomorrow!! It has actually gone by so quickly, and apart from weeks 10 and 11 which more resembled the Granville train disaster, I have stuck to the program, learnt a ton of stuff about myself, and am still on track. Wow, what an achievement. And to think that 3 months ago I was quite convinced this program just wouldn't work for me. But now, I've signed up for round 3 and am totally looking forward to what it will bring.
I've also had a few moments of realisation in the last few days. I've spent a little bit of time thinking about why/how I got so far off track in the past 2 weeks (and let me just out it out there that I'm not fully back on track in the diet just yet...).
- Firstly, last week was a pretty stressful week for me emotionally. I didn't feel it at the time, but looking back I know that from Friday a week ago until yesterday I was running at a constant level of high emotional anxiety. In recent years there has been a fairly large fracture in my immediate family. So much so that my parents and I had had no contact with my brother and his family. But last week, my mum was able to spend the week with them (they live interstate). She felt nervous and apprehensive about this, but pleased to have the opportunity. However I think that I was really apprehensive that it would all go horribly, and the situation would be worse than before. I was also worried about my dad being at home on his own for the week and how he would cope etc etc. and it wasn't until I spoke with mum yesterday as she was on the way home, that I felt relieved of that anxiety. The visit was over, and whatever that means for us long term is beside the point, but mum was ok, dad had coped fine, and I could relax again. Phew! And so I think a lot of the issues were emotional, and as I have always done I turned to food, and it took me over a week to even realise the connection between my anxiety and my actions.
- Secondly, I realised that I had not been blogging or journaling or anything during this period of emotional anxiety! And so all my thoughts have just churned in my mind over and over and over, and I gave them no outlet. Instead I gave them food hoping that might just shut them up for a moment. Doesn't work that way! Never has. No, the food just creates some new voices, and then I'm beating myself up for not flexing my willpower muscle... A vicious circle.
So, with those 2 realisations, I decided to make week 12 a little easy on myself. No, I'm not completely loosening the reins, I'm still completely in with the 12wbt, but I've dedicated this last week to all my favourites! I customised the menu (apart from sweet and sour pork) and I've chosen all my favourite 12wbt meals to eat. And, each lunch is leftovers from the previous dinner, so I don't have to cook both dinner and lunch every night! I'm pretty excited!! There's beef stroganoff, Cajun fish stew, Spanish chickpeas with fish, vegetable and chickpea pies, vegetarian paella... Yum yum yum! Oh, and can you believe there's 2 fish dishes in my favourites! A little confession, I started with 4 fish dishes and culled it down to 2. Another amazing feat from 12 weeks, I now am a fish eater - and I like it! Who'd have thought!
Well, with that I'll leave you all to begin week 12. Go well team! And I've also just watched mish's video on gratitude from last week, so let me express my heartfelt gratitude to all you who read and leave comments on my blog. I am so thankful, I feel as though each of you have been part of my personal support team, and have contributed to getting me to where I am 11 weeks into this 12wbt. Thank you so much! I only hope that I have been a support to you also.